Anonymous asked:

i recently went to a wedding and the bride wasn't helped by her brothers/cousins around the guru granth sahib. one of the photographers asked me why she didn't do that because all of the sikh weddings he went to had done that. do you know why?

Hello!

I am glad you brought up this question! =)

From my knowledge, this tradition started out in Hindu wedding ceremonies. There are two explanations for it. In one, it is stated that because marriages occurred at an earlier age, the girl needed assistance to walk around the fire. Since the girls were very young, they needed to be guided properly in order to any avoid confusions. The other explanation is that there was a girl who was physically impaired and so she required help to make the rounds around the fire and this started to become a tradition in weddings. In essence, having brothers assist the bride spilled into Sikh weddings.

Having anything that is not related to Sikhi, within Sikhi, is to be taken out. This is simply because it does not fall in line with principles of Sikhi. For example, many women take part in Karva Chauth but it is false for it goes against Sikhi. In one respect it is because fasting is denounced in Sikhi.

Having brothers help the bride during the Lavan does not fall in line with Sikhi. This is because of the history behind it, as well as other reasons. In the first explanation I gave, it denounces women because it implicates that women are not able to walk for themselves. Moreover, when marriage occurred at a young age, it was forced because consent from the girl was almost always not existent. Illustrating a Kaur as a child-like individual and one who does not have power is not Sikh-like. A Kaur is powerful. A Kaur is equal to a Singh. Hence, this practice is largely denounced.

However, I think this also can be compared to practices that have come to be more of a  sentimental tradition for people. For example, brides wearing white or being handed over to their husbands by their father in Christian weddings largely do not carry a patriarchal meaning anymore. Instead, women see it more as a sentimental tradition. Having brothers help the bride around during the Lavan has also come to have symbolize this. Others see it as a way of consoling the bride since she (unlike the husband) is leaving her family by moving out. That is a big change that drastically affects the woman’s life. It’s a way to kind of tell the bride that although she is going to physically leave her household, it does not mean that the family will leave/forget her. So while the history behind it goes against Sikhi, what the practice has come to mean in the modern context is not patriarchal and therefore, would not break Sikhi principles. I see it more of as a choice these days.

I hope this answers your question!

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